Your Feelings Are Not Always The Truth

I’m just going to write from my heart this morning. I’m sorry it’s a bit of a rant. It is prompted by happenings in my environment and the emotional response of so many to Trump’s election. (Read to the end I promise it’s not all negative).

Somehow we have raised a society of people who live by their feelings.

Who think that if it doesn’t feel good I don’t have to do it.

Who think that unrestrainedly expressing their emotions all over the place is an adult way to behave.

Who believe that what I feel must be the ultimate truth of my circumstances or the truth about myself.

Who believe that they have a right to always insist on expressing themselves even when hurtful to others.

We have kids who don’t show up to work because they don’t feel like working that particular day.  (I am ashamed to say that here in my town where we grow Kiwifruit there is a 30% retention rate of local seasonal workers – some of this is because of faults in our social welfare system that don’t make it worthwhile to work. To some degree we have built this selfishness through a nanny state that sends a message of entitlement. Our alternative is that we bring in workers from the Pacific Islands who have a 70% retention rate). 

There is a saying that goes like this:

‘Like a city with breached walls is a man without self-control’.

We have not taught our generation to exercise self control well (and yes I am generalising here). We have allowed introspective self concern to become the norm, often without teaching consideration or the consequences of our behaviour upon our relationships inside or outside of our home.

This introspective attitude and stance on life contributes to the plague of depression in our society, to broken marriages, disrespectful children (and adults) and a whole host of other negative behaviours. Somehow, we have to turn the tide. We have to come back to a place of building one another up instead of tearing one another down. We have to stop speaking poison over each other and exercise self restraint that considers the consequences of our words and actions upon others. We need to grow up and stop being so self absorbed.

Here’s another great quote:

‘If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the needs of those who are struggling, then your own light will shine brighter and your life will go well’. 

It is well known that people who contribute positively in some way to the well being of others outside of their own home are emotionally and mentally healthier. It gives one a more rounded worldview and develops compassion in our hearts for the struggles of others. Having gratitude and a thankful heart will change our outlook on life.

There is a higher truth sometimes than what our unrestrained emotions are telling us; what our emotions are telling us is also not always the truth. Sometimes our emotions just simply need to be ignored because the higher and more positive value and contribution is in exercising our self control and choosing to respond in a more adult, emotionally mature way that contributes to the greater good. We do of course have a right to express ourselves peacefully and with respect.

We do not have to respond to every negative input. Nor should we take another’s negative input personally. Many times it comes out of their own pain (but we should be mature enough to see examine ourselves also). What we do have to do though is maintain healthy boundaries, and draw a line in the sand at a point that is right and appropriate for you.

In Exercising Your Love Option I explain how we can begin to turn the tide and take our eyes of ourselves and create a happier community.  I know you’re someone that can bring that kind of change because you’ve chosen to read to the end. Thanks for making your community a healthier place.

Fiona